God is Me

Ever had those days when you suddenly feel so sad or burdened and don’t know why? Or perhaps after talking to a friend with a problem, you kinda feel depressed as your friend as if you actually feel what s/he feels. I’m having one of those days…night tonight.

My friend and I hanged out today. Actually it was our first time to hang out today because I barely knew her just about a month ago. We talked non-stop for more almost 5 hours and it almost kinda felt like we’ve been long-time friends. We talked about family and friends, serious stuff, funny stuff, sad stuff, and even nonsense stuff. We both love having long conversations and that’s what we had.

Fast-forward to evening–we’re at our own houses. She texted, “Yups. Back to reality. Basa nanaman unan.” All those happy moments today *slurp*–gone! I felt sad because this person who I was with today, who I was laughing with today, is now very sad and I can’t do anything about it. I said it almost felt like we’re long-time friends–I felt like I was a useless friend. And because I’m that and I care about her, I feel very depressed. I almost didn’t feel like reflecting. Maybe i’m just overreacting? Assuming that we’re already that close? That I need not bother myself with all of this? Then I asked myself, “What’s wrong about caring? Do we need special skills to care about someone? Do we need to ask permission from that person so taht we could care about him/her?”

We are created in the image of God, and if God IS love, then love IS also Man. Love is surely one of the things Man knows how to do by nature. It is our job to love and care about people, and noone can fire us from that job–just like what Ted Mosby said, “You can’t fire me. I’m union b****.” (HIMYM S07-E12: Symphony of Illumination). I guess what i’m trying to say is that we don’t need a reason or a big reason to love and care for someone. Loving should be as natural, easy, and involuntary as breathing–you just can’t force yourself not to breathe and you can’t even forget how to. There’s no such thing as too much love. You will always need love, and you should always give it.

In the end, I learned to accept this depressed state. It just means that I care about someone. I know how to empathize. I know how to love. And because I know love is in me, I know God is in me. After all, God is me. So be a blessing to others. Be the miracle. Show people that there really is a God, by doing what God is known best for–loving.



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